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Stable Talk: Balloons!!!

I wonder if anyone will notice the missing orphan.
…And on the third day, as the lands were covered in a vale of malice, a cleansing fire did drown the earth; from the tallest mountains to the lowest valleys. The elements had forsaken the lands. None but one elemental lord heeded the call in the time of need. The raging fire chasm of a being that is Ragnaros! But, to aid was not in his agenda. Only flame, death and destruction… What a party pooper!

Welcome to 4.2, Rage of the Firelands! It has now been a week since the release of the patch and what a week it has been. What HAS been done in this whole, entire, 7 day, 168 hour week anyway? Let’s see:

> Get back to grinding dailies? Check
> Overdose on Zandalari Heroics? Check
> Gear up alts with minimal effort? Check
> Clear out “old” content? Check

Which by the way, I would like to take this time to give a shout out to Limited Access for becoming Defenders of a Shattered World! Hey, we were 10 /12 pre-patch, then 12 /12 one day after the patch which is awesome for a casual guild if you ask me. So, congratulations to all the guildies!
My Main Man, Lanval

My Main Man, Lanval

But yes, 4.2 has been out for a week and let me tell you, I am sick and tired of these Zandalari Heroics. Trolls were the only Horde race I tolerated; so much for that. “But, why are you doing those so much then, Rune!?” I will pretend you may ask. Well, because other than raiding Firelands, that’s the only way to get capped for the week in Valor Points! So, did I hit the Valor cap for that week? Hell no. My face went numb aftah runnin’ so many of dem Voodoo places, mon. Instead, I did something way more fun. First, I went to the Stormwind Orphanage and helped a small Draenei (or however the hell you spell it) make an “UP” sequel. She will never be seen again. But hey, in the end of it all, I got me a cool balloon companion! For those interested in getting this quest, turn on your Find Low level Quest tracker and walk behind the orphanage. Horde might have a similar quest but I’m sure their balloon is probably a helium filled Gnome Head or something of the sort.

After I got my new companion, I headed out to Mount Hyjal and planted my Dwarven arse on a tree top 6 hours. That’s right. I’d rather be sodomized by a tree branch for 6 hours than to run another Zandalari heroic. Yes, 6 hours. Remember Rule #5 of tracking rare spawns! PATIENCE IS KEY! But of course, there was a reason behind this. And no it was not to ease some sick obsession of mine. Well, come to think of it, it WAS to ease a sick obsession of mine. My obsession in capturing all the spirit beasts! For the skies above is the spawn area of Ban’thalos, the Green Ghost Owl Spirit Beast! And after those 6 hours of extreme comfort, I finally caught that Spectral Swallow!

No, its neither African nor European

But, not worries, I did not stare at a computer screen for 6 hours as I patiently waited. I was playing Call of Duty: Black Ops on the PS3! Time well spent if you ask me. So, yes, I tamed the soaring Ban’thalos, made it feed off of my hands and named it Navarro! Yes, after Dave. He played for the Peppers in One Hot Minute, you know. But anyway, for those interested, this is what I did to capture it that will serve as a tip for you.

Behind the dailies quest givers in Hyjal, you will notice a gigantic Moose statue! Or maybe it’s a Buck. Well, anyway, behind the statue to the left, there is a very tall, very dead, tree. Go up there and sit on the top of it! Or stand. Whatever floats your boat. Ban’thalos spawns and roams above where you are currently located. So, what you want to do is put a freezing trap where you stand, get on your flying mount, target Ban’thalos, fly up a bit, and when your arcane shot is in range to hit it, dismount and shoot! Mad Ban’thalos will be mad and dive at you. Unfortunately, there is no phone booth to hide in. But, this is where the trap comes into play. When he dives at your face, he will freeze in place! Hit tame beast, and voila! You have disregarded the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow and you’ve got yourself a cool new spirit beast! And yes, ALL of that is necessary to capture this damned bird. It is the “challenge” that Blizzard put into the taming of this creature. By the way, try not to fall off that tree top, for if you do, the odds of your surviving that fall are minimal. So, what is there to worry about other than plummeting to your death? Not much really. These new beasts are immune to taunts (Distracting Shot), so once you pull a Hansolo with your bullet, or arrow, or bolt, you’ll be good to go. Of course, unless other people decide to shoot the crap out of it and all there will be left to tame is a pile of feathers and lead infested bird meat. That’s right. All hunter ammo is made of lead. True story.

As for the other rare pets, I have yet to see them but I promised a guide on how to catch them so what I will do is direct you to a website that can help you with that! The staple to potential hunter pets:

Going back to 4.2, one thing I am looking forward to (kind of) is the new Arena Season! It was not released with the patch but it should be released today! What does that mean for you and me? Well, for PVE, we now get a new boss to massacre for loot in Baradin Hold! For PVP, it means we now get a fresh start and will need to bust our arses to get some of that PVP gear which has now been modified to require a specific amount of Conquest points before you could even start buying stuff! But to be fair, this only falls on the PVP weapons. For more info on this nonsense, check out the official Warcraft website. The other issue I have with this is that in order to hit Conquest point cap, you will be required to play in rated battlegrounds as well. I guess it’s time to share the glory and find other people willing to sacrifice their time, patience and lives to get some points just so I can get my weapon! Oh, and for them to get some stuffs too. 😛 Well, I guess it’ll be quite some time before the Porchmonkeys rise again!

Well, it’s time for me to make like a tree and get outta here!

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