Home > Player Blogs, Runehako's Blog > Stable Talk: It Hurts When I P… VP

Stable Talk: It Hurts When I P… VP

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What do you get when you pit a Beast Master Hunter versus a Holy Paladin!? What does Kill Shot and You Tube have in common!? Why is my ‘Tab’ key drenched in blood!? Why is it not acceptable to call my pet a retard? Who IS Cartmans’ father!? All this and more on this week’s issue of Stable Talk!

Before I dive into any WarCraft talk, I would like to mention the following announcement. The RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS have released their new single for their new CD scheduled to come out August 30th! F**K YEAH! For those of you unaware of this, you can do one of the following things. One, go into the bathroom, find a bottle of shampoo or conditioner (your choice), squat gently over it, then jump as high as you can and make sure you get the three-pointer! Or two, go to the RHCP website and listen to the single!

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Just click on the picture and enjoy!

Now that I got that out of my system, let’s get back to WarCraft! So, Patch 4.2 has been out for a little while now and lots have been accomplished by many guilds. The accomplishments include but are not limited to:

  • Clearing Firelands
  • Clearing FIrelands Heroic Mode
  • Obtaining the Feral Druid Legendary Staff ( I got nom’ed by one in a BG)
  • Ridding Azeroth of Zandalari Trolls (Like 100 times over)
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That is one Hot Pussy... Cat!

My guild has succeeded in fully clearing Bastion of Twilight, Blackwing Descent, Throne of the Four Winds, Shannox in Firelands and Occu’thar in the Baradin Hold. Pretty impressive for a casual raiding guild if you ask me! Speaking of these bosses, the following section will consist of quick strategies for Occu’thar and Shannox.

HUNTARD-PROOF BOSS STRATEGIES

For more in depth strategies, go to WOW Head or Tank Spot or whatever site you prefer.

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Warning: Hide your Asian School Girls

Occu’thar: This is the new Baradin Hold boss. He’s the two headed demon dog with more tentacles on his back than any Hentai tentacle monster should have. This demon’s abilities include the following:

–       Focus Fire: targets a random player and places a huge void zone under him

–       Searing Shadows: Frontal Cone that puts a dot on the tank for 30 seconds

–       Gaze of Occu’thar: Summons eyeballs that attach to every person in the raid.

Now, as long as your raid members pay attention, this should be a rather easy fight. Even to the point where it should be PUG-able. There are a couple strategies out there, but I will only share the one that I believe is the most idiot proof. I will call this strategy the Ring- Around-The-Demon. You shall see why shortly! First, you will require 2 tanks, 2-3 healers, and as much AOE friendly DPS as you can bring.

Tanks: One of your tanks should run in and turn him around. The second tank will stand to the side of the boss waiting for that Searing Shadows to be cast on the Main Tank. When that Searing Shadows is cast, the Off Tank taunts the boss and switches places with the MT. Turn the boss whenever necessary to make sure the DPS is ALWAYS behind the boss.

DPS & Healers: This fight mainly focuses on the competence of you guys and gals. What you want to do is group up behind the boss. You don’t have to be so tight that Paris Hilton would be jealous though. You are allowed a little tiny room of separation. The reason being is that the boss will focus one of you and cast Focus Fire. This will lead a gigantic Void Zone where you stand. When this occurs, ALL DPS and Healers should strafe to the left to avoid standing in it. Next, you have the eyeballs to worry about. A few times during the fight, the boss will cast Gaze of Occu’thar. Every single raid member will get an eyeball attached to them. At the time the cast is over, everyone that can AOE should do so in the group. This is because those eyes need to die in less than 10 seconds or they will explode most probably wiping your raid. The only class that will have a tiny problem with this is the Hunters. What you will have to do here is place down an Explosive Trap as the eyeballs appear, Disengage, and Multi-Shot away. If you guys survive the eyeballs and manage to move from the void zones, then this fight is a cake walk.

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I'll be wearing your head as a Helmet soon.

Shannox– Shannox is the Hunter Boss of Firelands that spawns after enough trash is killed. You will hear a horn sound and he will scream random nonsense then pat around the entire center. Raid composition requires 2 tanks, 3 healers (2 if they are godly) and as much ranged dps as possible. This boss is actually composed of 3 mobs. Shannox, and his 2 pets, Rageface and Riplimb (awesome names).

Shannox’s abilities include:

Immolation Trap – Looks like a hunter immolation trap. Try your hardest NOT to stand these.

Crystal Prison Trap – Looks like the immolation trap except if you look very closely, the flame is crystalized. DO NOT STAND IN THESE! If you do, you will be frozen and will remain frozen until you are broken out of it via tons of damage.

Arcing Slash – frontal cone cleave that applies Jagged Tear

Jagged Tear – bleed that stacks and will not stop stacking

Hurling Spear – Shannox throws his spear which upon landing does AOE damage. Riplimb fetches it and returns it to the boss.

Magma Rapture – After Riplimb is killed, instead of throwing the spear, he places it down where he stands which does considerable AOE damage.

Frenzy – Shannox gains 30% speed and damage increase for every pet that dies.

Separation Anxiety – Whenever the boss and pets are apart for more than 60 yards, both boss and pets gain 100% damage and speed increase.

Main Tank: I would suggest you put your tank with highest survivability on Shannox due to his phase 3 enrage that lasts from 30% to death. Your goal as main tank is to make sure the boss only faces you, not to stand on any trap, and drop those stacks of Jagged Tear by kiting the boss around after he hurls his spear. You will need to coordinate this with your Off-Tank as he kites Riplimb in order for both of you to get your stacks to drop. At 30% to death, your goal is to survive and watch for traps!

Off Tank: You will be in charge of tanking Riplimb. Riplimb will also put a stacking bleed on you that you need to drop. You can achieve this by kiting Riplimb when the boss throws his spear and then kiting Riplimb over the Crystal Traps. By the time Riplimb gets out of the trap, grabs the spear, and returns it to the boss, both you and the MT’s stacks should have dropped. Be wise with the trap usage because every time Riplimb is passed over a trap, he is immune to the effects of any other trap for 25 seconds. This could easily make or break the fight. When Riplimb is at about 10% or under, focus the boss and try your hardest to get on second threat behind the main tank because the boss is NOT taunt-able and if the main tank dies, well, there goes your raid.

DPS: In theory, you want your two most powerful ranged DPS on Rageface because on Rageface’s Face Rage attack, he focuses one person and will attack them until they die UNLESS he is hit for 30k damage from one spell. This will invert his attention to that person. Rageface cannot be tanked. He randomly attacks people the entire time. The ranged DPS assigned to Rageface will want to also try to kite him through Immolation Traps and Crystal Trap whenever it seems necessary.

The rest of your DPS should be on Riplimb. The goal is to take Riplimb to about 15%, then the boss to about 35%. By that point, Rageface should be pretty low on health. So, at this point in time, the DPS kills off Rageface first, then Riplimb immediately after. After both dogs are dead, focus on the boss. This is where you pop all your cooldowns because the boss will be hitting a lot harder!

Healers: This can be a very heal intensive fight. Also, you will NEED to be aware of where you are standing. You can NOT accidently stand in a Crystal Trap. If you get frozen, there is a high chance of the raid wiping. My suggestion is for the healers to be somewhat spread away from the raid and the main tank healer NOT to be next to the tank. Shannox tends to place a lot of traps around himself.

Well, now that those two strategies are out of the way, let’s get into some Porchmonkey talk!

PORCHMONKEY TALK

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For those unaware, Porchmonkeys is the name of my arena team. Since the new arena season began, my 2v2 team has had a few interesting matches. Two of them specifically come to mind. The first one pitted the Porchmonkeys (BM Hunter /Enhance Shaman) vs a Holy Paladin and I forget what his team mate was. The Dalaran Sewers was the arena where we fought. After a few minutes into the match, it all came down to me versus the Holy Paladin. So, what do you get when you pit a Beast Master Hunter versus a Holy Paladin!? The ultimate scneraio in which to test one’s patience.

That fight took over 25 minutes to finish! Yes, I literally DPSed a Holy Paladin as he ran around the Sewers for 25+ FU#@%NG minutes. I got close to killing him a couple times but when that time came near, BUBBLE! Heal to full. Start over! I get him back down, Lay on hands! Heal to full. Start Over. I get him down again, BUBBLE! Heal to full. Start over. Yes, this was literally what the entire fight consisted of. Since I am a Beast Master, any damage done to me by the Paladin was eventually healed to full from my Spirit Beast’s Spirit Mend heal. It was a stalemate! That Paladin would just not run out of mana. It was rather ridiculous. So, after 25+ minutes of playing “who will get the first aneurism”, the Holy Cow stopped running, turned to me, /bowed and dropped the match. Runehako wins! I proved to be the most stubborn one! But, next time I am left 1 v 1 against a Holy Paladin, I’m gonna say F#%K it, and drop. I don’t think my brain can handle another match like that.

The second arena match that stands out was actually a couple days ago. The Porch monkeys went 2v2 against a Horde couple from the Arthas server. One was a Protection Paladin Cow and the other one was a Blood Elf BM Hunter named Gigi. If that name sounds familiar, it’s because you have probably heard a Warcraft rap by her or someone else featuring her on YouTube. If that name doesn’t sound familiar at all its because you have a life. Congratulations, Jerkface. Anyways, Gigi is rather skilled in “spittin” WoW rhymes about herself and other random Horde nonsense. I would highly suggest giving her a listen.

So, what does Kill Shot and YouTube have in common!? A Kill Shot (from yours truly) ended the life of this YouTube celebrity! Booyah! Unfortunately, my celebration was rather short-lived because immediately after finishing Gigi off, my health was low enough to receive a Hammer of Wrath to the face from the Paladin, killing me off. Damn cow. But, Nitsu would not let the Porchmonkeys down! He went on to win the arena match after facing that Paladin 1v1 for a few minutes. It would have ended sooner but that Cow grew very fond of the pillar in the arena as he would not stop running around the damn thing. But, all is fair in love and war, right?

QQ RUNE, QQ

Since I’m in topic of Arenas, I would like to complain about something real quick. I would like to complain about something near and dear to my heart. My Tab key. We all know what the tab key does, so I don’t need to explain it. With the tab key, comes the tab targeting system. And what a PIECE OF SHIT targeting system it is! To someone with common sense, a targeting system’s purpose should be to target primary objects which you want to attack. Does the WoW target system do this? Well, if your idea is to get aggro on that empty barrel in the corner of the room before you get to the mob that is sprinting after your healer, then it’s working perfectly!

This can be really annoying during PVE content, but it really starts to affect you when you are in arenas. Let’s say you are facing a Shaman and Hunter in a 2v2. The Shaman puts down his 4 totems and the Hunter lays down a couple traps, including the dreaded Snake Trap! Sometimes, in the heat of battle, you just don’t have time to mouseover click a person to start attacking them. So, let’s say you mouseover the Hunter at the beginning of the match. You see the Shaman starts healing him so you begin to tab over to the Shaman. You have now entered a focus target CHAIN:

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Tab! Tab! Tab! Tab! Tab!

Tab
Focus Hunter Pet (Damn!)
Tab
Focus Totem 1 (WTF)
Tab
Focus Totem 2 (Are you serious…)
Tab
Focus Totem 3 (OMG)
Tab
Focus Totem 4 (This is ridiculous!)
Tab
Focus Shaman (FINALLY!)

By the time you REACH the Shaman, the Hunter is at full health again. Oh, and you better HOPE TO YOUR GOD that you don’t trip that Snake Trap because then your focus target chain ADDS this shit:

Tab
Focus Snake 1 (!!!!)
Tab
Focus Snake 2 (Cmon!!!)
Tab
Focus Snake 3 (AHH!!!)
Tab
Focus Snake 4 (AHHHHHH!!!)
Tab
Focus Snake 5 (F$#K THIS GAME!!!!!)

By this time you just want to get off your seat, target the farthest wall in your room and sprint head first into it. The sweet unconscious bliss that awaits will be nirvana in comparison to your current Arena fight.

The other thing I want to complain about is my retarded pet. My apologies, it is not acceptable to call my pet retarded. The R word is the same as every minority slur. Treat it that way and don’t use it. Thank you Lauren Potter! Now I now! And knowing is half the battle! G.I. JOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEE!!

(For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about, go to YouTube and type in “Not Acceptable R-word PSA” or click HERE).

As you Hunters may have noticed, your Pet no longer has the Aggressive stance, and they changed Defensive and Passive stance and in the process broke them. Aggressive stance has been changed to Assist. In theory, your pet should attack whatever it is the Hunter attacks. What a terrible idea this is, especially in PVP. Depending on the battleground or arena, I am constantly changing targets. So, having the Assist stance on will just have my pet run around like a retard, oops I mean like an idiot, and end up of being of no assist to me whatsoever. Kind of defeats the purpose of the stance being called Assist, right?

Then, we have the Defensive stance. On this stance, your pet ONLY attacks whatever attacks YOU or the Pet! This stance is arguably the most useless of all stances at the moment. I’m being attacked by a Snake from the Hunter’s Trap! GO MY DEVILSAUR AND DESTROY THAT SNAKE! Never mind that Orc trying to capture the flag, he’ll probably just trip and drop the flag anyway. Finally, we have Passive Stance. This is probably the best yet the most broken of all stances. With this stance on, you have to manually send your pet to attack the target. Good, it will finally do what I want it to do. But, through my experiences, sometimes it just doesn’t work! You send your pet to attack that Pillar Humping Paladin but, what happens? The pet doesn’t move. He just stands there looking at you begging for a Scooby Snack.

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It is DEFINITELY acceptable to call this thing a retard.

The other night, while Passive was on, during an arena match, I stood out of line of sight of the opponents and out of the blue, my Spirit Beast pops its Dash ability and sprints after one of the opponents. What the F#$K.! So, I call him back and make sure he’s on passive. Then, half a second later, the pet literally runs BACK to them! Are you KIDDING me!? The pet is on PASSIVE. He should NOT be moving! Okay, I’m going to stop here before I go into cardiac arrest.

Well, that’s it for this issue of Stable Talk! I apologize for the lengthiness of the issue but, it was an accumulation of two week’s-worth of thoughts and nonsense! So, until then, Good Fight, Good Night!

-Knight Lieutenant Runehako

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  1. Mondlicht
    July 23, 2011 at 7:41 am

    Good read buddy. I especially liked the part about the MT on Shannox with epic survivability. You should talk about this guy more often.

    I don’t know what exactly Blizzard did but tab targetting has been as funky as gym socks. I’m sure a lot of people across the board hate how it’s working now. In my mind, this is a big enough problem to affect raid progression in the upper tiers. Hmm, maybe THAT’S why Dream/Paragon is the only guild that has cleared heroic Ragnaros – they mastered tab targetting!!

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