Home > Player Blogs, Runehako's Blog > Stable Talk: Moar Brew Pleasshe! /hic

Stable Talk: Moar Brew Pleasshe! /hic

Sure I like “dags.” I like caravans more.

Why is it harder to crumble a sheet of paper than destroying a Glaive? Is the Brewmastery profession on its way?? Are players more efficient when sober or gay!? Why am I, inadvertently, rhyming!!? Will Pandaria ever be founded in Azeroth!?! You can hit conquest cap without doing rated BGs!?!? All this and more on this “Blogisode” of Stable Talk!!!

WARNING!

The Intoxication theme will be consistent throughout this blog. So, if you are uncomfortable reading about it, I suggest you leave this page and go read the Sesame Street Post or watch My Little Pony or something. If you are still here, let’s continue with the “blogisode!” Yeah, I’m going to coin this phrase.

Now, before I am barraged with hate comments from the three people that read this for my “sober or gay” comment, let me explain! And what better way to explain than to show? Do the following:

– Go to Dictionary.com

– Type sober on the text field.

– Scroll about halfway down the page until you see Antonyms

– And what do you see?

But… I’m a raging alcoholic!! Hmm…

Yes, I know it’s silly and if you click on the Thesaurus tab, nowhere will you find said antonym but hey, my flamboyant friend and I got a laugh out of it. Well, anyways, now that we’re on the subject of sobriety , the question does arise. Are players more efficient sober or intoxicated? I have ran with both plenty of times so, let’s see what the verdict is!

SOBER VS. INTOXICATED

Before I begin, let me just say that I will not be mentioning the names of the people whom I have run and/or conversed with. “Why” dost thou ask? Because my friends, most of the “intoxication preparation” that these folk endure is not limited to beer. If you catch my drift…

Due to the fact that my raiding main is actually a Tank, I have run many, many, instances. Who can say no to an instant queue right? Anyways, with running so many instances, I have met a lot of people. And when I say a lot, I mean a LOT. And these people have all varied in age, sex, race, IQ and level of intoxication. Now, how do I know if all these claims are accurate? For some, I don’t. I just take their word for it. For others, well, I have been on vent with them. These would include random people from my server, friends, and guildies.

First, random PUGs and server folk. I’ve noticed that most of these people are rather courteous in the sense that whenever we all enter the instance, they would announce “I’m drunk, so bear with me!” or the more common one, “Hey, I’m high as balls by the way.” Of course I am making the text more legible than it originally was. By them stating this, the sober party members may choose to drop or go with the flow at their own risk. I’ve always stayed just to see how things go because hey, in the end, you’ll end up getting a laugh out of the ordeal.

Is that my screen or my eyes!?

As you may expect from your common drunkard, throughout the instance, the intoxicated Mage would yell “lol” as he accidently pulls a group that’s nowhere near the common path and then iceblocks to save his own arse. Poor healer. After this happens about three more times, yeah, it’s time to vote to kick. But, occasionally, you get the unexpected. There has been numerous times where I have run an instance on the hunter and the Tank admits to being inebriated. Then, he proceeds to run in and do the most amazing job at tanking I have ever seen. No mob ever touched the Healer or a DPS. If there was an accidental pull due to a DPS’ negligence, the plastered Paladin would be there to taunt off immediately and take control of the situation. I was very impressed to say the very least.

Now, for the opposite side of the spectrum. As I’m sure we all do, I have friends and guildies who are fond of the beer and the bud. And let me tell you right now, every single one of those people, who are ALWAYS intoxicated during instance runs and mostly during raids, are all “Glorificent” players! And I am not just saying that because I know them. These sans sober spectacular specimen vary in classes that they play so immaculately. The best Rogue, Mage, Frost Death Knight, Feral Druid, and Holy Priest that I have ever known fall in the list of being great while under the influence. Bender would be proud! I have asked a couple of these guys why they feel the need to be in the state they are in order play the game and the usual response varies between one of two. Either “it helps me focus” or “it makes the less game boring.”

So, then, what is the final verdict? When you’re running an instance, go for it. Do what you got to do to make this game more fun for you! But please, when you hear the distant sound of a zipper and you get up and walk to your window just to see the clouds above opening up to reveal a gigantic hermit crab crawling out, make sure you left the group. If you are in a raid where there are 9 to 24 other people counting on you, unless you have been told that you gain godly powers when drunk or high, please keep your intoxication level low enough to ride a unicycle and juggle bottles of marmalade.

Well then, since we’re on the subject of intoxication, I believe it’s time to talk about the upcoming profession, Brewmastery! Okay, so I’m making this up. There is no Bewmastery Profession on the works, as far as I know. But dammit, there should be!

MOAR BUFFSSH! hic…

There are a lot of things in WoW that really serve no purpose other than roleplaying. Which is perfectly fine since this is a Role Playing Game. But this includes things as miniscule as Thunderbrew Ales to an entire place like, well, every Pub in the game! So, how do we give these things and everything in between the attention they truly deserve? Because let’s face it, more than one person spent hours on end to come up and design such places. This is where Brewmastery comes in!

Let’s start from the basics. What would be the purpose of the Brewmastery Profession? More buffs, of course! Hey, before you roll your eyes at the idea, hear me out. Initially, I had one idea for the Brewmastery Profession but it quickly mitotically metamorphosed into two (You damn right). One, it can be used to compliment food buffs or possibly even replace some. This though, would require Cooking to take a swift thrusting blow to the gut and get ‘nerfed.’ The other idea is to use the brews like a potion, but not share a ‘CoolDown’ with it. In other words, you can pop a Potion and you can chug a Brew. Like a potion, you’d be able to use it during combat and only buffs you for a static amount of time. The main difference though, due to it being alcohol, and depending on its potency, is that you would experience certain side-effects that results from being inebriated. This includes but is not limited to, blur of vision (already in game) temporary vertigo (debuff to hit or expertise), and diminished intimidation (immune to fear).

Now, just to emphasize on one of the ideas, let’s make Brewmastery a type of potion. First, we need a place to create these brews. Remember that quest in Sholazar Basin where you have to gather all these fruits to create a brew that you need to get taste approval from a few NPCs? If not, here’s a reminder.

Can I get one of those in my basement?

Basically, you walk up to this contraption and then that dwarf there (not the sexy one with the glowstick), starts yelling directions at you. Light up that fire! Turn that valve! Stick the banana in the hole! Not that hole!! You get the idea. (Hopefully not the wrong one) Anyways, my point is Blizzard already took the liberty of creating the mechanics behind brewmaking. All they have to do now is distribute this big ol’ contraption to all the Pubs scattered in Azeroth and viola, you got yourself located breweries. Most of the ingredients to make a beer are already in game too! But of course, depending on the brew would decide the specific sources required to make it. Here’s a crappy example of a brew you would be able to make:

Rune’s Sweet & Sour Ale
Reagents:
Jug of Bourbon x 3
Highland Spring Water x 5
Sweet Nectar x 5
Sour Green Apple x 3
Keg x 1

So, let’s say these are the ingredients required to make “Rune’s Sweet & Sour Ale.” Note: All of these items exist in the game. There could be a vendor standing in front of the machine (which for the life of me I can’t find the name of it so I’m just going to call it a still) who tells you, “Hey! I noticed you were about to start brewing so I already placed in the grain and hops for yah! If you need anything else, let me know!” This cuts downs the ingredients required of you because it would be ridiculous for you to go find all the stuff required to actually brew a beer. From there, you can select to purchase missing ingredients from the vendor or ask him to teach you how to brew! Unfortunately, he cannot teach you to make all of the ales. You would have to seek out specific individuals of specific races to gain such knowledge.

Once you have the ingredients and you are standing in front of the still, you can begin your brewmaking! Now, I would love to make it interesting by requiring you to click this and that and stick things here and there, but, we know Blizzard would never do such thing. So, instead, once you are facing the still, you can open up your Brewmaking skill and create the brew of your choice! This would then yield a Keg filled with my Sweet and Sour Ale! Since it is a Keg, it would require more than just one use, so let’s make it five to be fair. Now that we have created the ale, what are its benefits? Here’s an example of what it could read:

Rune’s Sweet & Sour Ale
Requires Level 85
Use: A strong alcoholic beverage.
Puts the imbiber in an inebriated state
which will increase critical strike rating
by 1700 but reduce hit rating for 25 seconds.

The idea is that it would have a great perk but at the cost of losing something else. Whether it is increasing crit rating, haste, strength, become immune to fear, you name it, but at the cost of decreasing your chance to hit, expertise, blur your vision, and things of that nature.

The other choice, as mentioned before, is to make Brewmastery a clone of Cooking. But, I’ll save that topic for another time. Now, with the implementing of the Brewmastery profession, we will obviously require the implementation of the race which uses “Brewmaster” as a title. That’s right, I speak of the Pandaren!

FOR PANDARIA!!!

In the Burning Crusade, we were introduced to two new races. The gypsy stereotype Draenei and the only race where the females are more threatening than the males, the Blood Elves. Then, in the Wrath of the Lich King, we were introduced to a new hero class, which was rapidly bathed in kryptonite, the Death Knight. Finally, in Cataclysm, we were introduced to two new races, the Team Jacob Fan Club and Gremlins. I mean Worgen and Goblins. Now, if Blizzard continues this sequence, then in theory, next expansion we will be introduced to a new hero class. I think that instead of bringing in a new hero class or new race, they should combine the both and finally bring in the Pandaren Brewmaster! Their story has already been written in due to Warcraft III, you know.

Raiden ain’t got sh#t on these guys

Note: I apologize for my crude Pandaren lore that follows.

The Pandaren used to be settled in Kalimdor but, they had some sort of issue with their Night Elf friends for getting obsessed with magic. So, they left Kalimdor and settled on an island which they named Pandaria (real original, eh?). There are two major characteristics that define the Pandaren, and those are their love for ale and strong link to the natural world. These sound familiar, no? These characteristics are also shared by the Dwarves and Tauren, respectively.

For this reason and more, I believe that the Pandaren, if introduced, should be playable for both factions. And with that being the case, only the Dwarves and Tauren should be able to pick up the Brewmaster class. I don’t know much else of the Pandaren so I will not go into the classes that Pandaren should be able to play and how the Brewmaster class would work out. If anything, I’ll do some research and talk about it on a different “blogisode.”

With all this talking about beer, I feel like talking about something that makes me want to take shots on a daily basis. PVP is a gateway drug. True story.

PORCHMONKEY JIVE

For those of you who do not know, the weekly base Conquest Point (CP) cap is 1650. These points are awarded for winning a mixture of arenas, the daily battleground, or rated battlegrounds. Winning 8 arenas will get you to the weekly arena cap which is 1350 CPs. For some of us, that’s not a problem to achieve. For others… not so much. Now, once you’ve reached your arena cap, you now have 300 more points to get. So, how do we get them?

First, there‘s the daily BGs. For every daily BG you win, you get 25 conquest points. That means you will have to do 12 days-worth of daily BGs to hit weekly conquest cap on top of the arena points. Unfortunately, there aren’t 12 days in a week! So, let’s assume you did all your arenas and all your BGs. This will then put you up to 1535 CP (1350 + 175), which leaves us with 115 CPs left to hit cap.

Finally, we have Rated Battlegrounds. I left Rated BGs for last because if you’re like me, every rated BG you have ever been a part of have been so bad that you want to go headbutt an electric fence. Anyways, Rated BGs gives you 400 CPs per win. Yeah, that’s a HUGE amount of CPs. That means you only need to win 5 Rated BGs to hit pass the CP cap! But, yeah, good luck finding a group that will win those.

So, if you’re like me, you are now stuck at 1535 CPs. But, that just won’t do. Then it hit me like a sack of bricks to the crotch. There IS a way to hit CP cap without doing Rated BGs!

Good grief, I truly am a Huntard

How did this not cross my mind before!? I can turn in 250 Valor points for 250 Conquest points! I felt rather dumb after realizing that. The only reason it hit me was because while I was on my tank, I walked up to the Justice Points Trade Goods vendor to see if he would take JPs for a hotdog and on the bottom right of his overpriced crap was the choice to trade in JPs for Honor! That’s when it hit me! I can turn in Valor Points for CPs! I ran to the Valor Quartermaster to make sure I was right and of course, I was. All these wasted weeks of not hitting CP cap!! But, never again! All I need to do is run a couple Troll Heroics and I should be set.

NOTE! If you are going to do this, make sure you are able to receive 250 CPs first. In other words, the max amount of CPs you can have before doing the trade is 1400. If you have more, then the vendor will not allow you to do the trade. I speak of experience. Bastard…

Since, we’re on the topic of PVP. I have a few things to say about Isle of Conquest. And none of them are praises! ARRRGHHH!!!!

QQ CORNER

In Isle of Conquest, the Alliance seems to have a strategy that they swear by and any naysayer shall be labeled a heretic and burned at stake! The second the gates open, 80% of the team, including myself, makes a sharp left and heads straight to the docks! We would get there fast but the Paladin in the back decided that Devotion Aura is way more important while mounted just in case a flying boulder comes falling from the sky and lands on us all. So, we reach the docks and thanks to the latency, the mage that arrived at the flag 3 seconds after me ends up getting the cap. By the time Docks is finally capped, the Horde have capped the Hangar, the Siege Factory, the Mines, the Lumber Mill, and the Mage Tower.

You see, I don’t have a problem with this strategy because it has always worked for me. That is until the Glaives spawned. The Glaives have 232k health! WHAT THE F%^#!? 232,000 Health!? I went to a target dummy in Stormwind and pushed out over 232k damage in less than 10 seconds! It literally took me longer to write this current sentence than it did to push out that amount of damage!!! Okay, so, maybe the Glaives have high armor? EHH! Wrong! You see, those Glaives are actually Origami Glaives made of toilet paper. And not that good Toilet Paper brand either. The type that takes half the roll to do the job right.

During one Isle of Conquest, I got into a Catapult and pushed ahead of the glaives. As I passed them, a Troll Hunter showed his ugly face and started focus firing a Glaive. By the time I turned around, dismounted the Catapult, and put a Hunter’s Mark on that dude, the Glaive was destroyed. How could this happen!? I popped every single cooldown I had on that bastard Troll. Hell hath no fury like this Hunter scorned! You ever seen the film Inglorious Basterds? Towards the end of the film, when they are in the cinema, two of the ‘Basterds’ unleash hell on Hitler and the Nazis inside. You know that guy that melted Hitler’s face with bullets at point blank range? That was me on this Troll!

After my murderous rampage, I got back onto the Catapult and drove up to the little hills where if pointed right, I can shoot myself into their base without being shot down by the cannons in the towers. It took me a few losses to learn that NO OTHER PEOPLE would get into that catapult. They would literally run to the gate of the Horde Base and just fight the lingering Horde. I wonder if they are aware that they get as many Honor Points per kill as they do for /waving at a critter? So, after I learned that lesson, I started parking the Catapults just outside the Horde Base but somewhat behind the mountainside to protect it from the cannons. Upon landing inside, in a matter of 20 seconds there would be plenty of Alliance members inside to help blow that wall down from the inside. What a relief.

We start placing bombs on the wall from the inside while the remaining Glaives shoot their silly putty ninja stars at the wall from the outside. Everything is going well. The wall goes down and someone yells “ALL IN!” in raid chat. Finally, the BG is going well! The main tower’s gates open up and personified ‘Bantha Fodder’ comes out to defend the base. They are quickly taken out and we run into Overlord Agmar’s chamber.

Tank? Check!
Healers? Check!
DPS? Check!
Random jackass inside a Catapult taking up the stairs? Check!

“FOR THE ALLIANCE!!” 

We pop Time Warp because the Shaman was really enjoying his drink out of the Mana Spring Totem, charge at Overlord Agmar, who I’m sure by this point has birthed mud babies, and- HORDE WINS!

F$#@… My… Life…

EAR CANDY

If there is one thing that helps me keep my sanity while I’m PVPing, Raiding, or just living life, it’s music. I am a music enthusiast. I am open to all sorts of music because if there is one thing that every human being in this world shares is their appreciation of music. So, with that said, I will be adding this section where I choose to share a song by an artist of my choice. It will range from oldies to modern, from lounge music to rock. I will try my best to cover the entire spectrum.

The song that I have chosen today is actually a cover. The original composition of this song was circa 1973 by Lynyrd Skynyrd. The song is “Simple Man” by Shinedown from their 2003, “Leave a Whisper” album.

Click the pic for the YouTube Video

Why this song? I am not the biggest Shinedown fan. In fact, I only like two songs by the band. But, if there is one thing this band has is an amazing vocalist. Dare I say Shinedown’s version of Simple Man surpasses Lynyrd Skynyrd’s version, vocally. I stumbled into this song after looking to listen to “Save Me” by Shinedown. That was originally the only song I liked by the band and I had not heard the song in a very long time. Thank to youtube, I ran into Simple Man and immediately fell in love with it.

Well, that’s it for this “blogisode” of Stable Talk! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Take care of yourself, and each other! And all that other crap Jerry Springer used to say at the end of his show.

– Knight Lieutenant Runehako

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  1. Flonominal
    August 5, 2011 at 2:41 pm

    I bet that Frost DK is useless at all things wow-related… and most likely all things non-wow-related as well…

  2. NotNitsu
    August 7, 2011 at 11:27 pm

    Bring your 2v2 partner nitsu into more of these blogs i heard hes awesome and stuff

  3. Juddow
    August 7, 2011 at 11:40 pm

    Pretty sweet blog bro. You have a weekly “blogisode” reader!

  4. Mondlicht
    August 20, 2011 at 10:38 am

    Well done sir. It does indeed amaze me how some are still able to raid while nursing the fermented teat. I’m not so good at it so I stick to my glass of scotch or bottle of beer at break time.

    Also, I’m totally with you on this Shinedown cover. Good stuff!

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